The beginning of a long road...

I have finally decided to open up about what my life has been like for the past 5-6 weeks.

I had some blood tests done recently as I was bruising easily and feeling very tired. I went to the doctor for something else and asked if the results were back, not thinking much of it. I got sent to A&E, they told me not to worry and I will have another blood test and go home. I got admitted due to low platelet and white cell counts and remained in hospital for 3 days. It was absolute torture as I had no idea why I should be there, I was feeling fine. On the 3rd day, the haematologist told me some upsetting news, that I might have aplastic anaemia or leukaemia. - Not having my family with me in London and having to absorb this information alone was so difficult. Although my stunning boyfriend was by side the whole way and still is. If it weren't for him, I would not be as positive as I am. Instead of tears, he created laughs and lots of smiles! Unfortunetly he was not able to come back with me, but will be coming back as soon as possible. - I was then transferred to St Bartholomew's for a bone marrow biopsy. I hurled my lungs out I was so nervous. It was a terrible experience for me and I hoped I would never have to go through that again.

After 2 weeks I saw the consultant. Leukaemia and aplastic anaemia was ruled out, thank goodness. And then the word MDS was mentioned. I had never heard of this and was a bit shocked to hear all the details. He told me this is highly likely, but part of the biopsy results were incomplete and that they can't confirm it yet. Wait, Incomplete..? What? dum dum dum... another dreaded biopsy lied ahead. I requested to be sedated this time as last time was a truly horrible experience. Sedation was the best thing I ever did! Did not feel or remember a thing, and after an hour and half I was fully alert.

On the 24th of March 2010 I got news that will change my life forever. I have been diagnosed with MDS Monosomy 7, stage 3 (out 4). Cancer at age 20. A Cancer that people over 65 get! And this cancer, turns into acute Leukemia. They have not given me much time before this happens, but I am positive I will fight this before that happens! I have been forced to cut my gap years short and I returned to SA on the 28th of March for treatment. I will be receiving chemotherapy prior to a bone marrow transplant. My brother has just been tested as a donor, but the results will take 2 weeks. I do hope and pray he is a match! My Professor said that he thinks I am the youngest in the country to have MDS. The youngest he has seen is 38. Therefore I believe my chances of success are higher as I am young and fit.

It has been a great struggle finding a specialist here as there are only 5 in the whole of SA. Only 3 hospitals do the transplant, one in Pretoria (where I am, but we are not comfortable with the set up) and two in Cape Town. Therefore I will be going to Cape Town. It's going to be tough, a month to 3 months in hospital in total isolation.

As my hair will fall out and I am going through a massive change, I decided to something I would never have done before! I cut my hair short yesterday and died it blonde, after it was almost hanging by my bum! This is the first time I have had short hair since I was a toddler. Quite emotional. Lets not talk about emotions. They have been flowing through my eyes almost everyday for the past week and a half.

So, I hope this blog will make you realise how precious life is and how much you have to be grateful for. Even though I feel like my life has come to an end, there will always be someone worse of than me! My goal is to be healthy for my 21st on the 28th of July. Hair or no hair, but no cancer!

A big thank you to all the fabulous support from family and friends! It is more valued than you think and keeps me some what sane :)